How to stop taking things so personally

Learning how to stop taking things personally is a skill that can improve our mental health and our relationships.

Feeling hurt or offended is natural when someone criticises or judges you, but it’s essential to remember that not everything is about you.

Here are some ways that can help you stop taking things personally.

1. Practice self-awareness
The first step in not taking things personally is to develop self-awareness. Understand that your emotional reactions are generally rooted in your own insecurities, fears, or past experiences. When someone’s words or actions trigger a personal reaction, pause and ask yourself why you’re feeling this way. Are you projecting your own insecurities onto the situation? By recognising your emotional triggers, you can start to distance yourself from them.

2. Consider others’ perspectives
People have their own motivations, emotions, and issues to deal with. When someone makes a comment or behaves in a way that affects you, it’s not necessarily a direct attack on your character. Try to put yourself in their shoes and consider what might be going on in their life. Often, you’ll find that their actions or words are more about them than about you.

3. Building resilience
Building emotional resilience is important for not taking things personally. This involves developing the ability to bounce back from criticism or negative feedback. Rather than dwelling on hurtful comments, it is best to focus on learning from them. Constructive criticism can be an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Remind yourself that setbacks and criticisms are part of life, and they don’t define your worth.

4. Set boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for your own emotional well-being. Make it clear to others what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. When someone crosses those boundaries, address the issue assertively but without taking it personally. By doing so, you show that you respect yourself and expect others to do the same. This can reduce the likelihood of feeling personally attacked.

5. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded in the present moment. When you’re mindful, you become less reactive to external stimuli, including negative comments or actions from others. Take time each day to practice mindfulness, and it will become easier to maintain emotional balance when faced with challenging situations.