5 things to think about when you miss your ex

Warm memories of your past relationship can catch you off-guard when you thought you’ve moved on.

You know that you both went through with the breakup and that it might have been for the best but, why is your heart now telling you something else?

For sure, missing an ex is normal especially if the breakup happened recently.

And now that you’re thinking about your past beau, you have to be wise with how you handle those strong emotions.

As you decide on what your next move is, here are five things to think about:

1. Are those feelings real?

We hear all the time about how we need to follow what the heart wants. This sounds great in theory but in real life, it doesn’t work that well because feelings constantly change.

In this situation, think about whether your feelings are just memories passing by or whether they are actually strong to the point where you would want to reach out to your ex.

If you find that they are constantly shifting and that they are not really stable, then they might not be solid feelings that need your attention.

2. Have you fully healed?

A healed heart is capable of separating feelings from facts. And if you aren’t fully okay, you probably shouldn’t trust what you’re feeling right now.

These confusing emotions might only be a result of the healing process. To keep yourself from making decisions you might regret later, assess whether you have fully healed first or not.

3. Did you have a healthy relationship?

Not all breakups happen because of toxic situations. Sometimes it can happen because you’ve simply grown apart or even when you realise you’re not as compatible as you thought you were.

Other times the breakup was triggered by serious issues like abuse. So before you decide to send them that ‘I miss you’ text, analyse if this relationship was healthy in the first place. This can help you avoid attaching yourself to a toxic partner again.
4. How did you contribute to the breakup?

Normally, it’s hard to take responsibility when things go wrong. This requires us to silence the ego which is often hard to do.

Regardless, you have to be honest with the fact that you weren’t perfect even when it’s clear that your ex might have been the one who messed up more. Even if you’re not getting back together, you will do the work and be a better partner in your future relationship.

5. Is your relationship worth salvaging?

The final question you need to ask yourself is whether you should actually try to work things out, or if it’s better to leave your old relationship in the past. Missing someone doesn’t actually mean that you want them back so, this question might help you find some answers.

In case you think that you should call them, approach the situation with humility and take responsibility for your mistakes while you were dating. This might help you have a healthier start this time around.