How to tell if it’s real love or an illusion

You’ve got that tingling feeling every time you see the object of your affection. Your heart practically beats out of your chest. It certainly feels like love, but is it really?

Unfortunately, real love and the illusion of love can feel pretty damn similar if you refuse to look any deeper.

Before you hand your heart over to the person you’re with, make sure the love is real.

1. You feel like this time it’s different
You’ve been in relationships before and they ultimately never worked out. This relationship is a whole new ball game. You feel like you’ve finally found something special. This one stands above all others in your dating history. This could be real love! On the other hand, if this one feels like all the others, it could be an illusion. That’s especially the case if you’ve thought you’ve been in love before and it turned out wrong. Get out of that vicious cycle.

2. You’ve forgotten all about your ex
You might have had some hang-ups before you started your current relationship, but that’s all fallen by the wayside. “Ex, who?” And even if your ex ends up showing back up in your life, you’ll know you’re in love when you come away completely unbothered. You’d never even think of taking him back. Unless how you’re feeling is just an illusion, no one will compare to the love you’re feeling right now.

3. You love them for the good and bad
True love feels unconditional. Sure, your guy has flaws. Perhaps he snores like a freight train or hums when he eats. If you’re in love, none of that will matter. It just contributes to who he is as a total package. On the other hand, if you’re setting out to change him into your personal vision of a perfect partner, that’s not love at all. You should love him as he is, and he should do the same for you.

4. The love is reciprocated
If the object of your affection doesn’t seem to love you back, this is a big sign that what you’re feeling is just an illusion. True love requires love in return. Not only should he show you affection, but he should also be feeling these monumental moments of love just like you are. Not sure how to read him? There are ways the right person will show you they love you. Never accept anything less.

5. You finally feel like yourself
If you’re putting on a front and trying to be what you think they want, that’s not real love. Pretending to like jogging or veganism just to make someone like you is the epitome of an illusion. Compare how you’re feeling in this relationship to how you felt in your previous failed relationships. If he finally makes you feel comfortable being your real authentic self, he’s a keeper.

6. You’ve got your eye on the future
Now that you’re in this relationship, every time you think of the future, he’s in it. It could be something as mundane as a future office party or as elaborate as your next overseas vacation. It could be meeting your parents or getting married–you can’t picture life without him. However, if he doesn’t show up in your future fantasies, maybe you don’t really love him after all.

7. It feels easy
No agony for you. No trying to convince him to love you. When it’s really true love, it’s easy.