7 myths about marriage that are totally untrue

Spending the rest of your life with one person is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Each new day does not come with its own special box of rainbows and unicorns. There are so many things we were led to believe about marriage that turned out completely different when I finally said “I do.”

Here are 7 marriage myths that are totally untrue:

1. Marriage will make you make you happy

For the longest time, I was of the opinion that getting married would bring happiness and fulfillment to my life like nothing else ever could. That is so untrue. Sure, being with someone you love will make you feel good and accomplished, but that feeling isn’t always going to be there. You’ll learn things about your partner that will make you like them less. You’ll get on each other’s nerves. You’ll feel like they’re holding you back. You’ll actually have to find a way to be happy by yourself.

2. Your spouse will be everything you need

I always laugh when people say your husband or wife should be your best friend. Sure, it’s amazing if they are, but you still can’t count on them to meet all your needs. That’s just not how people work and you’ll just be putting too much pressure on them. No matter how wonderful your marriage may be, you’re going to end up disappointing each other a few times and you’ll definitely need things outside of your relationship.

3. Having kids will bring you closer

When couples are experiencing some problems, they usually think bringing a baby into the picture to resolve their issues. This myth has proven to be false. Research has shown that having a baby brings plenty of stress to a marriage and may even make couples grow apart. A child will actually give you less time to focus on your marriage. Some of the biggest fights I’ve had with my partner have been about our kids.

4. Your sex life will gradually become boring and unsatisfying

It’s a total myth that marriage signals the end of passionate, fun, and satisfying sex. I promise you will not be doomed to a lifetime of missionary. There’ll be times when sex is not as exciting as it used to be or when you don’t even want to do it, but it’s nothing healthy communication and quality time together can’t fix.

5. You’ll never be lonely

As someone who suffers from depression and a horde of anxiety disorders, loneliness hits different. I hated being away from my partner while we were dating and I thought that getting married would mean never have to deal with that again. I still feel overwhelmed by loneliness sometimes and he can’t always give me the attention that I crave, so I’ve learned to find some satisfaction on my own.

6. Your spouse will always know how you feel

You might be tempted to think that because you’ve been married for quite a while, your partner should know how to read your mind, love you right, and be in tune with your emotions. It’ll help to realize on time that your partner is not a mind reader and they will not always understand or be able to fix how you feel.

7. Doubts will never arise if you’re with the right person

Even during its best moments, marriage can be a gut-wrenching experience. Every now and then I wonder if and how my life would be different if I was with someone else. Did I make the best decision by getting married? What if things don’t work out? The occasional fears and doubts about your partner and the state of your relationship are perfectly normal.