Baba, Maina, Idris and other stories by Reuben Abati

“I hear say our Sai Baba don return from Turkey” “Did you hope that he would stay there permanently? He went for the D-8 meeting, and he is bound to return.”

“D-8 meeting. I have been thinking about it. We are supposed to be a secular country but internationally, we have continued to engage with Muslim countries. We belong to the Organisation of Islamic Countries (OIC) and also the D-8. Internationally, we are effectively a Muslim country.”

“I don’t think so. In international diplomacy, it is not a sin for a country to engage at all possible levels. Nigeria is the most strategic country in Africa with its population and economy.

We have a responsibility to be everywhere in the world, and make our presence felt.” “Which presence? There are at least 48 Turkish companies doing business in Nigeria: schools and hospitals and et cetera.

How many Nigerian businesses can you point to in Turkey?” “We have our footballers scoring goals in Turkey.”

“You are not okay.”

“We have our girls too. Nigerian girls are the most impactful diplomats in the world.

They catch the men where it matters most from Turkey to Italy to London to Washington, back to home. What this government has not been able to do through diplomacy, our girls in diaspora are filling the gap, by grabbing the international community by the balls. I hear our girls are hot and famous.”

“You are talking nonsense. You are holding women responsible for Nigeria’s problems”.

“Emi ke?

God forbid.”

“So what was that all about?”

“He-eerr. I am just saying that Nigerian leaders should stop junketing all over the world like a yo-yo, and stop passing that on as performance whereas there is nothing to it.

The President of Nigeria must have the courage to act, and take decisions that will move the country forward. I am, in fact, surprised Baba went to the D-8 summit with his wife and children.”