One would refer to any form of relations that happen before s*x as wrong but the Nuer people of South Sudan have alternate views.
Marriage, a home, and children are the goal in Nuer life for both males and females from early childhood.
After puberty, boys and girls have a good deal of freedom in experimental love-making and usually find their lovers without any particular interference from their respective families,
but marriage is the purpose behind every romance. In the final choice, the girl’s family must approve of the suitor’s family. They should be steady, agreeable people with a sufficiency of cattle.
The actual marriage is made by payment of several heads of cattle [the bride price] from the groom’s family to the bride’s family. Normally, three periods of payment and associate
d rituals are involved, which could be considered betrothal, wedding, and consummation.
At the time of the betrothal ceremony at the bride’s home, the groom’s family makes a token gift of a few cattle and the groom’s friend, a sort of Best Man acting as a negotiator, reaches an agreement with the bride’s family on the number of cattle to be given later and the dates for the subsequent ceremonies. Then singing, dancing, and feasting on an ox follow.
A few weeks later, the marriage feast is held, again at the girl’s home, with great numbers of relatives of both families present. The true marriage occurs when the third feast is
held, this time at the home of the groom. This ceremony is the significant one; it celebrates the final binding of the union of families, and not until this occasion does the husband have full conjugal rights over his wife; that is, he cannot punish or sue in case of the wife’s adultery.
Nevertheless, the married couple does not actually live together until a child is born. The girl is given a special hut in her own family’s homestead, and the husband remains with his own family, making overnight visits to his wife whenever he can.
The bride is supposed to have birthed two children before the wedding is complete. If she ends up bearing just one, the husband is free to ask for a divorce after which he is giv
en a choi
ce to pick between the cows or custody of the child.
